Slipping Down the Rabbit Hole

Sorry it's been a while since my last post, but after reading the account below you'll understand. Things have started to get strange here, and I haven't been able to wrap my brain around all of our current problems until now. Add to this my increasing frustration at getting reliable help and we have a recipe for creeping insanity.

We've yet to cast our leading lady (character of Lorraine, age 18). Several issues have arisen with Sacha's initial choices, and they are not easily resolved. We auditioned a number of additional Lorraines and had some terrific candidates. The main problem is that most of the young women vying for the part refuse to engage in scenes that involve kissing. The film (now entitled LA REBELLE) would take a severe reality hit if the teenage boys & girls did not touch and kiss. Remember, these aren't 13 year olds. These are about-to-be-adult-age teenagers--yet real girls/women ranging in age from 18-22 are squeamish about locking lips with another actor. For those who can remember being a teenager, did you think about anything other than sex?

CULTURAL NOTE: The cultural basis for the young ladies refusal to kiss on screen involves the notion that the actors on screen are actually playing themselves. We have 2 women kiss in SKIN DEEP and many Haitians have asked us where we found 2 lesbians to play the roles. We have yet to convince most Haitians that the actresses in SKIN DEEP were ACTING and not really homosexual.

For our potential leading ladies it came down to this: If I kiss someone on screen who isn't my boyfriend, then I'm cheating on my real boyfriend (or I'm a loose woman, or a whore, or some other person of questionable morals). One lovely and talented girl actually wanted to consider the kissing scenes, but she needed to ask her boyfriend about it. He flat out refused to "allow" her to be in our film if kissing was involved.

IRONY NOTE: Given the concerns about swapping spit on screen, one would think these "girls" are virginal pillars of virtue. The Haitian grapevine (the most rapid and reliable communication system in this part of the world) clearly indicates that none of these young ladies would ever be mistaken for Pollyanna. Another young woman, age 20 with a dancing career looming in her future, turned us down because of her concern about "what the Haitian public would think of me," if she's seen on screen kissing a man who is not her real-life husband/lover/boyfriend.

Maybe it's me, but isn't that pretty fucked up? We have a grand total of 2 women who are willing to enact the PG-rated intimate encounters required by the script. It looks like these will be our leading lady and her best friend. The bonus is that they're both among the best in terms of actual acting talent, even though none of our candidates have previous film or advanced theater experience.

Edner, our Haitian executive producer, gave us the names of people to do the hair, make-up and wardrobe for the film. He's worked with them before and we assumed he'd accounted for their services in the budget. Today, Edner refused to spend one gourde more than he spent on his last film for the same services, even though he wants LA REBELLE to have higher production values.

BUDGET NOTE: I still haven't been given a firm budget number for the production of this movie, and we're 10 days from the start of shooting. It is my feeling that Edner does not have all the money for the film and he's stalling. If we don't know how much money we have to make the movie, how can we secure the necessaryservices and personnel to actually pull this off? A meeting with Edner is scheduled for this evening.

I thought we'd have no problem attracting crew members. Not only have Haitian films paid little or nothing to their film crews, few people here have experience--even at the amateur level. That's why I was surprised when our candidate for First Assistant Director asked for $10,000 for the 24 day shoot (see below for more). Granted, 1st AD is a great deal of work, but that position hasn't even existed on most Haitian film shoots.

The fact that 2 Americans are making a movie here has led to the notion that we're offering Hollywood-style bucks. We have to constantly remind people that this is a Haitian movie and the budget (in Haitian dollars) is severely limited. No other Haitian film has reached any sort of an international audience, so the total revenue one can expect just from Haiti is finite and small. While we hope to attract an international audience for LA REBELLE, the money folks can't count on it.

MORE: We're offering a salary of $200 Haitian per day for the crew members. That's only about $27 US, but a decent percentage of our budget (whatever that is, but go with me on this). The 1st AD person was asking for $10,000 and I assumed that was Haitian. Since $200 x 24 = $4,800 Haitian for the entire shoot I thought we had some negotiating room. "No," he clarified, "10,000 US DOLLARS," or $74,000 Haitian. That, my friends, is non-negotiable.

Our next 1st AD candidate did talk us out of a bit more than $200 Haitian/day, even though he'd never been an assistant director and had only a vague idea about what the job entailed. A few days later he had to quit because he'd accepted a job to direct a Haitian feature film. I'm wondering who would hire someone to direct who's never made a film and didn't know the job of assistant director. We have officially exhausted the supply of potential AD's in Haiti. Now what?

This past weekend, Sacha had to go to Miami and pick up some equipment for the shoot. He was also meeting our Director of Photography, the famous Basque-man Aitor Mantxola, who will be lensing LA REBELLE. He's the same cinematographer we had for SKIN DEEP. The budget and equipment he'll be working with this time out is the smallest he's seen since film school. In fact, in film school we had more lights. As a result of Sacha's absence, I had my first 2 days alone in Haiti, complete with driving privileges and a cool Kia Sportage. I also had to negotiate downtown Port-au-Prince in order to renew my soon-to-expire passport.

IRONY NOTE: In the US it takes $85 US and at least 4-6 weeks to renew a passport. At the American Embassy in Port-au-Prince it takes 10-14 DAYS. So, if you ever need a passport fast, come to Haiti. It's also only $55 US here.

By far, the most difficult thing to get in Haiti is a straight answer. My experience in getting downtown to the US Embassy is a case in point.

Our production designer (a former Miss Haiti and the Miss Universe First Runner-Up) was to be my navigator on Ken's Excellent Downtown Adventure. I asked her to merely tell me, at least a few feet in advance, where I needed to make a turn and in which direction. After driving past the first 3-4 turns I realized that, unless I could read her mind, I was never going to find out about a turn until I'd passed it. I missed another turn because I was instructed to "go down here." Since we were on the side of a hill, and the road I was on was headed down that hill, I assumed I should go straight ahead. You know, down the road here.

I was told that, in Haiti, they refer to down and up as directions rather than the more traditional left and right. Since everybody knows which direction is up and which is down, there's no confusion. My point was that the road we were on was, geographically speaking, technically down so I did not realize I should have turned on a road that was MORE down that the road I was on. I repeated my requested for "left or right" as the exclusive answers my brain would accept under the stress of negotiating Port-au-Prince traffic. At the next turn I was instructed to go "Up."

When we arrived at the US Embassy I discovered an entire industry devoted to making passport photos. I was told we needed 3 photos, but every person on the street insisted we only needed 2. Since a cousin of Sacha (and an employee at the US Embassy) told us 3 pics, we went with that. The first vendor said he'd be pleased as punch to make me 3 photos for $50 Haitian (about $6.75 US), but my guide told me we could get a better deal elsewhere. She went to another vendor who was wiling to make 4 photos for $40 Haitian (even though, as he insisted, we only needed 2).

We had a deal and I sat in a tiny trailer for the photos, made using a circa 1950's Polaroid. Once the pics had self-developed, the vendor held out the 4 photos and demanded $80 Haitian. He pointed to a sign in his trailer, behind a jacket, that said 2 photos for $40 Haitian. I said that we had a deal, but he kept pointing to his sign. My guide came to the rescue. She and the vendor hammered away at each other in Creole (especially effective for cursing and arguing) for several minutes before she stormed out. The vendor made one last plea with me for $80 Haitian, but I just shook my head and said in fractured Creole, "We had a deal, man."

As we walked to still another vendor we were followed by a woman from the first vendor who insisted that we pay for the 4 photos. I was about to be seated for more pics in another cramped trailer when the woman finally relented and agreed to $40 Haitian for the 4 photos (which had begun to stick together). After I gave her the $40 she grabbed ahold of the photos in my hand and said she'd really feel a a great deal better about the transaction if I could include an additional 80 gourdes ($16 Haitian). I snatched the photos from her and made my way quickly to the embassy gate.

Along the way a number of people on the street had seen me reach into my wallet and remove some cash. Up until that point it could only be assumed that I had money on me (being a white American). Now it was confirmed and I had a bulls-eye drawn on my pocket. People wanted me to make change for them, buy their products, come and meet their sister, and every scam known to man--even a few the Devil himself doesn't know about. I did not breath easily until the huge, metal door of the embassy slammed shut behind me.

The passport process was painless and quick. When I left the embassy I ran as fast as I could into our car and locked the doors. I waited several minutes for my 2 female guides to make the same trip.

By the way, I only needed 2 photos to renew my passport.

Later the next day, I was tasked to pay a restaurant bill for our crew. The bill was 1440 gourdes, Since a tip on top of that would be a total of 1690 gourdes, I removed 4-500 gourde notes, gave them to our server and asked for the change. He never returned. I told everybody else to go to the car and I would take care of it. When I located our server I asked him for the change. He held out 60 gourdes and said, "Pou mwen?" ("For me?"). I said, "Mwen gen-u 2000 goud." He replied, "No, messu, u bam 1500 goud." He even showed me the cash register transaction that claimed I paid him 1500 gourdes.

We had a situation here.

We yammered back & forth for a few heated moments before I insisted on seeing the owner. She was seated at a table across the room. As I moved in her direction our server got to her first and insisted that I only paid him 1500 gourdes. She asked me if I was certain I gave him 2000, and I assured her that I was. I asked her to do a cash register count if she didn't believe me.


Suddenly, the server ran back to our table and reappeared with a 500 gourde note! He spoke with the owner but I could not follow their conversation. Then, she turned to me and said that the 500 note + the 60 gourdes was my change, and that the server was trying to give me the change but I refused to accept it. I told her that the server never showed me that 500 gourde bill when he was giving me the change, but I would be pleased to take it now. I handed the 500 g bill back to the server and asked for 2-250 g bills. He took it and disappeared into the back room.

Several tense minutes later he appeared without the change. I asked him. in a tone slightly less than threatening, to retrieve my change or I would do some crazy white person thing. He disappeared again for several minutes. This time, he brought me 2 crisp 250 g bills on a carved wooden turtle shell. I handed him one of the 250g bills and said, "Pa gen pwoblem, m-ami." He smiled, took the bill and gave me a pat on the back.

I'm still looking for a straight answer here in Haiti. My quest is ongoing, and I will endeavor to keep you posted.

Bonne chance et å bientot - Ken